Accretionary Wedge #53- The end of the world as we don't know it

Lockwood is hosting Its the end of the world as we don't know it as Accretionary Wedge 53.
The call is as follows:
You could make up a tale of geologic and sciency absurdity, describing in the most insanely over-the-top manner how the world/universe will end. Contrarywise, you could report on the world's end as it happens, complete with reporters going out to report "LIVE!" from the apocalypse. Personally, I think the world will go out in sectors, like an orange with 24 sections, as they pass through midnight, but I'm not sure whether it'll be at the beginning or end of the 21st.

Or, you might choose to pick a bit of "respectable" journalism, and pick it to pieces in the most acerbic way you can. (Rick Sanchez, "What's that [10 meters] in English," anyone?) Here are a couple examples of me doing that, the first to point out the myriad mindless errors and misjudgements: Science "Journalism" by Press Release. And the second to show the the original press release totally missed the boat on why this news was important and so very interesting: More On the Gigavolcano.

“Don't wake me for the end of the world unless it has very good special effects.”  ― Roger Zelazny

Or, like I said, you might have another idea. But remember, it's supposed to be a party. No downers allowed- though that might be a topic for another Wedge.



Okay here's my attempt at how I envision the world ending:

A few years ago, around where I lived they used to always say, 'Hell will freeze over before the Saints would win a super bowl championship.'   Well guess what they did win in 2010 and then a few days later we had snow!!  We just knew for sure hell was starting to freeze over.
Here's the pictures to prove it:

2-12-2010 Show on the Bayou

 This was two scenes from my back yard. 

2-12-2010 Snow on the Bayou

In Northwest Louisiana we hardly ever get snow. Every year we have one or two days of freezing but rarely are the conditions right for snow, more often than not if we get anything we get a freezing rain.  About every three years we actually do get some snow but the ground is so warm it never sticks or stays.  Its good for closing schools down and causing havoc with the roads since people don't know how to drive in it but other than that you really don't get to enjoy it.
But once every ten years or so we actually get something that stays and  can be played in. On this day it actually did snow and stayed.



   Now they predict that the world will end on Dec 21, 2012 which is also the first official day of winter.  When I think of winter I think of cold and snow. So that got me thinking about what would happen if hell really did freeze over when winter starts. We would be in a winter state all year long because there wouldn't be any ground heat to melt the snow away. 
    Most people associate heaven with the skies and celestial thing, and the think of hell as the underground.  Hot, fire and brimstone stuff. In other words places within the earth- Hades.  But the key thing here is that its inside the earth-- not some where else.  So now I'm assuming on 12-21-12 the earth is going to have to be cooled down so that hell can freeze over ie it will have to be below 32 degrees Fahrenheit.  That would mean that the upper core of the earth would have to solidify and quit being fluid. We would loose the magnetic field since it was now solid and couldn't move. This would play havoc with our electronic gizmos stuff.
  For the media that still be operating they probably would be report it wrong and blame it on The Penguin, of Batman's fame and enemy. The media will claim The Penquin finally invented a device that absorbs heat and turns it energy, unfortunately everything it touches turns into a frozen solid mass, by compressing the atoms so there is no space in-between the electrons.  Once it starts there is no stopping it, kinda like a chain reaction.  They try to stop it but its gotten totally out of control and just keeps on going, deeper and deeper into the earth.  

   Because the earth would have to get so cold to offset the heat produced by the radioactive decay of materials every thing would freeze.  The media would also be reporting all the fun activities that people would be doing.  The snowbirds would be in bliss they would think they could finally go skiing whenever they wanted too.  They'd just dress warmly.  Not realizing how cold things really would have to be in the end and everything with water in it would be frozen solid - even themselves.
     Since the earth is so cold it would start to shrink forming huge crevasses.  These crevasses would eventually meet up with each other causing huge piece of the earth to break away from itself.  These pieces would go hurtling into space and join the other cosmic debris that is out there. Soon there would be nothing left of the earth. The earth would be no more - fini- gone- kaput.  Thus the end of the world as know it.

    I would really know its the end of the world is as soon as some of this stuff started to happen people would realize whats going on- because the media would be telling me so. People would want to be with their loved ones.  My family & friends would try to contact me and say goodbye.  I would know its really,really, really serious if I ever got a text from a certain friend of mine, thanking me for the help I've given him through the years, and apologizing for being the way he was and realizing what a mistake that was and telling me he was sorry. Without a doubt- I would know its the end because I know the only time that person would every contact me is if he truly thought that -This is it- there is no future to look forward to and this is the the last chance he could make amends.


   Seeing that text would put me is such a state of shock I would have to inhale deeply.  I would inhale so deeply I would cause a barometric drop in pressure.  That and with the global warming that had been occurring plus now the freezing of the earth by The Penguin  would cause all sort of chaos to occur with the weather system.  The result would be one huge gigantic tornado.  This tornado would just keep getting bigger and bigger and wouldn't dissipate like normal tornadoes do.  Finally this system would get out to sea and become a hurricane/cyclone or whatever you would want to call it. Then it will cross the oceans and eventually come back on shore again and will spin off even more tornadoes.  Eventually it would cover the whole world with mass destruction either from the tornado or from the hurricanes. This massive system would help dissipate the heat that's been stored at the surface of the earth and cause it all to be release as one massive destructive force of energy.  .

   But these would be no ordinary weather phenomena since these tornadoes would be the type that come from OZ.  All my loved ones, even my friend that thanked me would be swept up in them and carried to a land of safety in another dimension. Only people with their towels will be saved and since most of my friends and family have read Douglas Adams  -The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (here's the Wikipedia link  ) they will be prepared and have their towels with them.  (Its been so since I read the books, I can't remember the names but I do remember how funny it was and ever since then I've been sure to carry a towel with me all the time in my car.  Most of the time its used for drying off wet kids from practices  and have found it to be some very valuable advice to have.) By having had  my family and friends saved we will all be able to live happily ever after.  - So there isn't a downer.  Plus I'll get to see some people I hadn't seen in a long time since we will all be deposited in the same area of Munchinkinland.
   
So here's how I see the world ending on 12-21-12-  it will simple be frozen solid.



Now I muse:  I wonder if it really will end - am I ready to go?   Should I start to carry my towel with me in my purse along with everything else?